BAD WEEK!

Sometimes I honestly think my life is an on-going audition for “Survivor”. And last week would have undoubtedly sealed the deal for me to be a shoe-in cast member on that show. It was as if someone was playing a cruel joke on me to see if I’d finally shatter into a billion tiny pieces. Did I break a mirror I don’t know about? Cause clearly, bad luck is totally trying to get the best of me. But, miracles DO happen, cause I’m still standing on two intact legs with two intact arms to hold my Advil and my Dr Pepper.

It started out with the terrible tragedy of William and the cat. I won't go into details of the incident because I will surly start to bawl, so lets just say Beast is in a much happier place! And I am forced to wonder for the rest of my life if my son will become a serial killer!
We continue on through the week and I am looking forward to a nice girls night out with my daughter, Well on the way out of the garage another unfortunate accident occurred. Bob decided to park in the middle of the drive and (Honestly I didn't look so I am not sure who to blame.) But there is now a very long scratch on his truck, a bit of paint missing on my car, a not so happy hubby, and a very annoyed mom cause it all happened in the presence of my ever questioning daughter who has to know the what where when and why of ever second so that she can repeat the incident for anyone and everyone.
The following day I think to make amends for my bad driving skills that I will have a clean house and a good dinner on the table. Silly me to think that these two could occur in the same day. The house is clean and ready and I start dinner. I leave the kitchen unattended to (heaven forbid) put makeup on and attempt to look nice. William (the spawn of mischief) has taken a cube of butter and drawn pictures all over the glass patio door, and then threw it outside for Reagan to play with.I think I will spend the rest of my sane life scrubbing greasy fingerprints off of everything! ( Now I no longer worry if he will become a serial killer because I am now worried I will become one first!)

Here are few other little "lucky" things to have happen...


** My car automatically finds the slowest person on the road to get behind.

** Girl Scout cookies are laced with crack or something highly addicting!

** My bras are highly entertaining to my 4 year old.

** There’s a conspiracy amongst the members of my household to act like bafoons when my husband goes out of town.

** Four o’clock a.m. is most certainly NOT my favorite hour of the day.

** Sid the Science Kid makes me grateful for earplugs.

** I could really use twelve sets of arms.

** The dishes in the sink DO NOT put themselves away overnight.

** I am forever losing in Catan

** Spaghetti does NOt make good shampoo for blonds!

** Nor is it good foot cream!

** Wii remotes can leave a mark!

** Blue mouthwash stains sugar bugs and carpet!

** The pee pee dance last exactly 3 seconds before mess.

** Despite what I may think, God does not give me more than I can handle