Sousley Family

At what point does it become acceptable to go to bed BEFORE your children do? Cause lately? My little night owls are still ready to rock and roll long after my eyelids are well on their way to Sleepytown. I can’t watch a show, I can’t make out with my husband, I can’t even take a damn pee without someone sneaking up on me late at night when I least expect it.

I honestly can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating the whole bedtime hoopla has become around here. I tuck ‘em in, give ‘em a kiss, and threaten ‘em with every inch of their lives if they even think about coming out of their rooms, and what do you think happens each and every friggin’ night? Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter — down the hall and down the stairs to steal food out of the fridge, or climb the pantry shelves or spy on who else but Mommy and Daddy.

Do you have any freaking idea how horrifying it is to be watching a crazy vampire king on t.v. who’s mourning the blood and guts of his gay lover, only to look up and find your 4 year old son, wide-eyed and bushy tailed on the staircase right behind you? Now I don’t know about you, but I’m not personally capable of explaining the awesomeness of “True Blood” to my preschooler. Can I not just enjoy my Eric Northam in peace??!!

Yes, it seems like the minions have perfected the art of popping up at JUST the wrong time to a flippin’ “t”. Just when we think the coast is clear — BAM!! There they are. So, unfortunately, by the time we feel like we’ve got the green light, we’re too tired to bring out the rated R stuff even if we wanted to.

So, yeah, call us boring or call us old or call us what you want to. But until one of you can come up with a feasible solution that doesn’t involve duct tape, super glue or handcuffs to keep the chitlins in their rightful places at night, you can keep your opinions to yourselves. Or you could just offer to babysit….